Government reveals reforms agenda, mulls over FDI in corruption [#satire]

Continuing with its stance on economic reforms, the Government of India is on course for taking  a revolutionary step which will officially allow FDI in corruption. The Finance Minister, in an exclusive interview with our correspondent, disclosed the Government’s intention. 

“Our Government is committed to growth. Opening up corruption to foreign players will make us more competent and also help in bringing in foreign capital that will improve Rupee’s position vis-à-vis the Dollar. This will also help in making corruption more transparent”, explained the minister.   

Although, there have been past instances of foreign involvement in India’s booming corruption sector, this is the first time the Government is proposing to ease regulations so as to encourage greater foreign participation. 

The Finance Minister revealed that the Government had approached IIPM to carry out a detailed study to help them take a call in this matter. The Government chose IIPM considering the institute’s global exposure, which would help them in analysing foreign perception for this sector in India. When our correspondent contacted Mr. Arindam Chaudhuri , he sounded upbeat about the government’s proposal. “Corruption in India is a huge unorganized market, growing at a mind boggling CAGR of 420% over the last 10 years, similar growth is expected till at least FY20. Also, this sector has shown growth independent of which political party is in power, thus reducing the political risk of such investments. Allowing foreign players to be a part of this growth story will help us discover the diamond in ourselves”

However, opposition parties seemed unanimous in opposing any such proposal by the Government. “There is no clarity regarding this. What will be our cut? And will we get that in Rupees or Dollars?” asked an opposition party MP, on condition of anonymity. 

Meanwhile, Credit Rating agency Substandard & Poor quickly restored India’s soverign credit rating, after claiming to have ‘accidentally’ downgraded the same after the Finance Minister’s announcement. “The Government is certainly on the right track. Corruption has huge potential, we just had some taste of it after the ‘accidental’ downgrade!”, said a company official with a wink. 

“Now they will make me slap foreigners too!”, a certain Harvinder Singh commented on the development.